Loisaida Beer Math

This isn't some sort of photoshop trick. Our local beer store, Fine Fare, recently had a special: $13.99 for an 18-pack of Coors Light. The only problem: The cost of a 12-pack of Coors Light, $13.99. Quite a conundrum for the average, non-calculator wielding consumer. Needless to say, we were quite perplexed. After running some quick numbers, we finally determined the economical choice:


30 Racks! Ok, so maybe my math failed me and maybe when we got home we figured out it wasn't more economical than the 18-pack, but it was 100% worth it for the looks we got when I walked down Loisaida Ave with a Maine-like quantity of Coors Lights. Let's Vent!

No Romo....Literally.

It is with a heavy heart that I report that the 2008-09 Dallas Cowboys' downward spiral has just been accelerated faster than a Coors Light Wide Mouth Vented Can with a big ass dent in it. Our boy and Cowboys quarterback Tony "No" Romo is out at least four weeks with a broken pinkie on his throwing hand. Suffice it to say that lifelong Boys fan and Bulletproof Sombreros contributor Loisaida Sam is devastated. The fate of America's Team now lies in the hands of Brad Johnson. My advice for Romo and the Boys? Forget the X's and O's. It's time to capitalize on the injury with shameless merchandise sales, a la Kobe's pinky and Lakers Nation:




For the Tony Romo edition, I suggest that the middle finger reads "No" and the pinky reads "Romo," because unfortunately, Cowboys fans are going to have to get used that phrase.

Tom Brady Don't Play No Defense

Correction to the last post: WE fear change.

The Patriots lost 30-10 to the Chargers last night in prime time, with the Pats looking like they didn't even belong on the same field as the Bolts. To quote a classic film: "I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fucked-up bar." Why are we stuck in bizzaro world? Early in this calendar year Patriots fans were pushing to copyright "19-0." This year? SportsCenter's Hannah Storm just told me "Without Tom Brady, these Patriots are a different team." No shit Hannah. Last night, Matt Cassel missed a wide open Randy Moss by 10-15 yards while Moss was in the end zone. He was also sacked four times. But the most disappointing thing about the Matt Cassel era? To me its our defense. To quote one of the smartest men I have ever met, "Tom Brady don't play no fuckin' defense." And that's the saddest part.