Have fun watching the election tonight, suckas! I can't stand that stupid little U.S. map and the states turning red and blue, it looks like the two candidates are playing a U.S. version of risk or some shit. Come to think of it, that would be a way more interesting way to decide the election than this arbitrary electoral college bullshit. I'd be much more comfortable knowing that our President is capable of running our nation if he knew how to properly allocate all his troops throughout the south and the midwest. So while the rest of the world is glued to Anderson Cooper's 41-year old gray head, I'll be glued to the Celtics @ the Rockets at 8:30pm.
Ever since the Rockets acquired Ron Artest this offseason, there has been talk of a "New Big 3" in the NBA, with Houston following the Celtics' lead in putting together a trio of superstars (Yao, Tracy McGrady, Crazy Pills Artest). Tonight, we get the first match-up of these heavy-hitting triumvirates in Houston. The Celtics are coming off their first double-digit loss of the season to
Danny Granger's two front teeth, and with only 3 double-digit losses all year last season, Celtics nation is abuzz with doubt. On the other side of the coin, the Rockets have started 3-0 and Artest has had seemingly no problems gelling with the new squad. Granted, two of the Rockets' wins have come against the Thundahh and the Grizz, but they had one impressive win over Dallas, including an almost-fight between Crazy Pills and the NBA's other side-show, Josh Howard of weed smoking/drag-racing/national anthem-bashing infamy. Celebrity deathmatch anyone? I'd watch.
But tonight's showdown seems to pose a serious match-up problem for the Celtics. Let's turn to the starting lineups:
Rockets:
PG Rafer Alston
SG Tracy McGrady
SF Crazy Pills
PF Luis Scola
C Yao Ming
Celtics:
PG Rajon Rondo
SG Ray Allen
SF Paul Pierce
PF Kevin Garnett
C Kendrick Perkins
Now ideally, the Celtics would have their three best players guarding the Rockets' three best players. But clearly this poses a matchup problem for the C's. How? If KG steps over to guard Yao, that leaves Perkins to guard Luis Scola/Carl Landry. Yikes. Neither of these guys, especially Scola, are lightning quick, but Perk is much slower than both and would get eaten up by either of them. So that leaves Perk on Yao and KG on Scola, which is kind of a toss-up. Both are mismatches, but with Perk coming off a zero point, three-rebound performance in Indiana, the nod goes to the Rockets.
This matchup also makes me miss James Posey. A lot. While Ray-Ray did a decent job defensively against Kobe in the finals last year, McGrady is two inches taller than Kobe and he gets more assists per game. Where Pierce has proven his defensive prowess by locking down LeBron in the Eastern Conference Finals last year, Allen is a shooter, and the team seemed to really get a defensive boost from Posey coming off the bench and locking down whoever the Celtics needed him to defend. Look for Tony Allen to come in early for defensive purposes, which makes sense on paper, but if you ask 10 Celtics fans how they feel about this move, 10 out of 10 will not be comfortable with it.
As for the PG slot, it's a classic match-up of two undersized, under-appreciated ball-handlers who both have playground type skills. Rafer "Skip to my Lou" Alston is a better scorer than Rajon "Everytime you do that behind the back fake pass then take it to the hole for a lay-up I cringe a little bit" Rondo (That's really his nickname, no joke). But Rondo is a better defender, so look for a good match-up in the PG slot.
The benches are pretty even, with a slight nod going to the Rockets for acquiring
"Crispy" Von Wafer in the offseason. I mean, how good is that name? Seriously.
Prediction: Rockets, 91 - Celtics, 83
Ladies and Gentlemen, 
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